In Jain dharma, the kind of urge you are describing is very precious. I’ll explain step by step, in simple language.

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1. What is a Tirthankar?

In short:

• A Tirthankar is a soul who:

- Destroys all karmas and attains Keval Jnān (omniscience). - Becomes Vitrāg – totally free from attachment and aversion. - Re‑establishes Jain dharma and creates a “ford” (tirth) so that others can cross the ocean of birth and death. - Establishes the fourfold sangh – sadhus, sadhvis, shravaks, shravikas.

So:

• Every Tirthankar is an Arihant and later Siddha.
• Not every Siddha is a Tirthankar – “Tirthankar” is a very special role among liberated souls.

You can read a short, clear description here: “Who is a Tirthankar”

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2. Can I become a Tirthankar?

Jain siddhānt says clearly:

• Every soul is capable of becoming liberated (Siddha).
• Tirthankar, though, is a very rare special destiny.

To become a Tirthankar in some future birth, one must bind a special karma called:

> Tirthankar‑nām‑karma (also called Tirthankar‑nām‑gotra)

This karma is:

• Very, very rare.
• Bound only when the soul:

- Has extremely pure thoughts for all living beings, - Does extraordinary dharmic work for others (not just for oneself), - Has very soft, non‑violent heart, very high charity, and deep devotion towards Arihants / Siddhas / sadhus / dharma, - Has already reached a very high spiritual level in previous births.

Scriptures say: in each half cycle of time (each Avasarpini and each Utsarpini), exactly 24 souls with Tirthankar‑nām‑karma will appear as Tirthankars. Not 23, not 25 – exactly 24.

So, in principle:

• Yes, any soul can rise to that level across infinite time.
• But it is extremely rare and requires countless births of very high‑quality sādhana and punya.

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3. What does your “desire to become a Tirthankar” mean spiritually?

Here we must be very clear, because the type of desire makes all the difference.

a) Two very different types of “ichchhā”

1. Pure ichchhā (śuddha bhāvnā):

- “I want to become like Tirthankars – absolutely Vitrāg and help countless beings.” - It is focused on: - Vitarāgata (non‑attachment), - Ahimsā, - Saumyatā (gentleness), - Universal compassion, - Destroying one’s own kashāyas (anger, pride, deceit, greed). - This is very high bhāvnā. It helps bind very good karma and pushes the soul upwards.

1. Worldly ichchhā (rāg, ego):

- “I want the highest position, I want everyone to worship me, I want glory as Tirthankar.” - This is more about status, power, fame, and specialness. - Even if the word “Tirthankar” is used, inside it is actually rāg (attachment), mān (pride), icchhā for importance. - That kind of desire doesn’t make one closer to Tirthankarhood – it can even bind lower karmas.

So, ask very honestly inside:

> “Do I want Tirthankar‑pada because of its shobha (glory), or because of its vitrāgata and compassion?”

If your urge is towards the qualities, it is very auspicious.

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4. How does one actually move towards such a high state?

For us in this birth, the goal “I will become Tirthankar” is too far and too specific. But we can definitely do the kind of sādhana that:

• Lifts the soul towards higher gunasthānas,
• Removes heavy karmas,
• And may, across many lives, prepare the soul even for Tirthankar‑nām‑karma if it is destined.

Main foundations (for this life)

1. Samyak Darshan (Right Faith)

- Firm trust in: - Soul (jiva), - Karma law, - Path of Right Faith–Right Knowledge–Right Conduct, - Vitrāg Tirthankars as the true Guides. - Remove doubts, superstitions, blind following. - Listen to, read, and reflect on Jain āgamas and lives of Tirthankars.

1. Purity in small daily conduct

- Follow basic vows as per your stage (layperson or sadhu/sadhvi). - Careful about: - Ahimsā in food, speech, and actions, - Honest livelihood, - Brahmacharya according to your stage, - Avoiding unnecessary violence (vyāpār, rajāī, careless habits).

1. Reduction of kashāyas

- Watch anger, pride, deceit, greed. - Even if they arise: - Catch them early, - Regret them (pratikraman), - Make a resolve to reduce their intensity and frequency.

1. Sevā, dān, maitri (service, charity, friendship)

- Help all beings as far as you can without harming others. - True charity: - For support of dharma, - For protection of life (jeev dayā), - With humility, without expectation.

1. Deep reverence for Vitrāgs and dharma

- Bow with understanding, not mechanically. - Recite Navkār Mantra with awareness of each pad. - Remember the 24 Tirthankars, their gunas (qualities), and keep them as your ideal personality template.

These things:

• Definitely elevate the soul.
• Whether they lead to Siddha‑pada, high dev gati, or Tirthankar‑nām‑karma in some future era is decided by the exact purity of bhāva and karmic details – but none of this goes to waste.

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5. About your urge – once, few times, or persistently?

You asked something very subtle:

> “What if this urge arises only once? > What if it arises a few times? > What if it arises persistently?”

(i) If it arises once

• Even one pure moment of:

> “I wish to become like a Vitrāg and uplift infinite beings.” is not ordinary.

• Such a thought does not die. It becomes a samskār (impression) in the soul.
• Maybe in this life you forget, get busy, change direction – but the subtle vibration of that bhāvnā still bears fruit as some punya and spiritual inclination in this or future births.

So:

• Do not underestimate even one moment.
• At that moment, if you connect it with:

- Navkār, - short prayer, - small real change in conduct, it becomes even stronger.

(ii) If it arises a few times

• That shows some continuity of past sanskārs.
• Now it becomes important to translate it into action, not just feeling:

- Read lives of Tirthankars and great sādhus, - Improve one specific habit (e.g., speech, food, or use of resources), - Fix a small daily practice: such as 5–10 minutes of peaceful contemplation on Navkār and Vitrāgata.

Because:

• Bhāvnā without sādhana can remain only as imagination.
• Bhāvnā with daily sādhana starts becoming karma‑changing power.

(iii) If it arises persistently

• Very precious, but also dangerous if not understood properly.
• Positively:

- It may reflect strong previous punya and sincere spiritual inclination. - It can drive you towards a simple, disciplined, dharmic life.

• Danger:

- Ego: “I am something very special; I am born for Tirthankar‑pada.” - Day‑dreaming instead of real self‑improvement. - Looking down on others.

For persistent urge, a good inner statement is:

> “If, in the infinite flow of time, Tirthankar‑nām‑karma is destined for my soul, it will surely happen. > My role now is only to purify my bhāva and live as non‑violent, truthful, and humble as I can.”

So:

• Turn persistent urge into deep humility and steady practice, not into self‑importance.

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6. What if one day this urge simply disappears?

Very natural fear.

• Our thoughts change because:

- Present passions pull us in other directions, - Old karmas rise and cover the clarity, - Environment and company influence us.

In Jain view:

• A pure bhāvnā, once arisen, is never wasted.
• Even if you “forget” in this life, its good karmic result remains attached and will bear fruit.

To help it stay alive:

• Keep regular contact with:

- Swādhyāy (Jain study), - Satsang, - Darshan of idols and images of Tirthankars, - Recitation of Navkār and stavan/stutis with understanding, - Occasional upvas, ekāsan, or any tapa you can honestly manage.

Think of it like a small flame:

• If you protect it from strong winds (bad company, wrong beliefs, extreme indulgence),
• And give it little ghee (daily dharma),

it slowly becomes a brighter light in your life.

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7. Between “Tirthankar” and “Siddha” – what should we focus on?

Very important for mental balance:

• Every Siddha, whether Tirthankar or not, has:

- Infinite knowledge, - Infinite bliss, - Infinite energy, - No body, no suffering, no rebirth.

• Tirthankar is a special function played in the last embodied life:

- Establishing samgh, - Teaching dharma to innumerable beings.

So in your heart, it is safest to keep:

> Ultimate goal: become Siddha (completely liberated, Vitrāg). > Intermediate inspiration: the amazing qualities and compassion of Tirthankars.

If, along the way, Tirthankar‑nām‑karma is actually bound for your soul, that will unfold by its own śakti. You don’t have to mentally “control” that outcome.

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8. Digambar and Shwetambar view – any difference here?

On the main points relevant to your question, both traditions agree:

• Tirthankars are:

- Kevalis, - Vitrāg, - Establishers of the ford (tirth), - 24 in each half cycle.

• Tirthankar‑nām‑karma is:

- A special nām‑karma bound by very pure, extraordinary bhāvnās and conduct.

• Any soul, in principle, can rise to that level across infinite time.

Differences are mostly in:

• Some historical details (e.g., gender of Mallinath Bhagwan, certain life‑events),
• Idol style and some ritual expressions.

But the essence you are asking about – what it means, how one moves towards it – is common.

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9. In very simple, practical words for you:

1. Respect your urge

Consider it a blessing. Don’t laugh it off or think it’s silly. Treat it gently.

1. Purify the urge

Whenever it arises, add this inner correction: - “Not for glory, not for praise, only for Vitrāgata and upliftment of souls.”

1. Anchor it in daily life

- Do one small, concrete thing: - Speak more gently at home, - Be more careful with tiny lives (water, lights at night, etc.), - Reduce unnecessary consumption, - Do pratikraman sincerely for your mistakes.

1. Nourish it with right company and right knowledge

- Keep close to Jain texts, satsang, and the image of ideal souls. - Avoid extremes: neither world‑denial fantasy nor careless indulgence.

1. Surrender the result

- Don’t keep checking: “Will I become Tirthankar or not?” - That anxiety itself is rāg and binds new karmas. - Instead: “Let my soul go towards ultimate Vitrāgata. Whatever highest state is truly appropriate, may that happen.”

In this way, whether the urge appears once, a few times, or remains lifelong, it will always work beneficially for your soul.

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If you want, you can make a very short inner prayer (without asking me further; this is for your own use):

> “Hey Vitrāg Bhagwan, > May I walk, in however small steps, on the path that leads to your state. > Remove my pride and impurities, and let my heart become soft, compassionate, and detached, > so that I may truly become an instrument of ahimsā and dharma for all beings.”

Even remembering this occasionally already aligns you with the true meaning of “becoming like a Tirthankar.”