You are observing yourself very honestly. That itself is a big spiritual strength.

I’ll do three things:

1. Explain what Samyaktva (Samyak‑darshan) is and its types in simple language.
2. Give practical “signs / checklists” so you can roughly see where you stand.
3. Directly answer your specific points: doubt, anger, laziness, blaming dharma, dream, etc.

You can also read more here: Samyak‑darshan & Ratnatraya Gunasthān (14 stages) Eight aṅgas of Samyak‑drishti

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1. What is Samyaktva (Samyak‑darshan)?

In Jain dharma:

• Samyaktva = right faith / right vision.
• It is clear, deep conviction in:

- Tattvas (jiva, ajiva, asrava, bandha, samvara, nirjara, punya, paap, moksh), - Panch Parmeshthi, - True path of ahimsa, vrata, tapa, etc.

• It is inner turning of the soul toward truth, not just outer rituals.

Both Digambar and Shvetambar accept this same basic meaning.

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2. Stages related to Samyaktva (Gunasthān)

Jain dharma describes 14 gunasthān – spiritual stages. In short (relevant ones only):

1. Mithyā‑drishti – completely wrong belief.
2. Sāsvādana Samyag‑drishti – just a taste of right faith, then it goes.
3. Samyak‑mithyā‑drishti – mixed: sometimes right, sometimes wrong belief.
4. Avirata Samyag‑drishti – right faith, but no real vows / renunciation yet (no virati).
5. Desha‑virata – shravak with partial vows.
6. Pramatta‑virata, 7. Apramatta‑virata, etc. – higher and higher control, then monkhood, then keval‑jnan, etc.

From the 4th gunasthān upward, there is Samyaktva (right belief) in different strengths and with different levels of vows and passions.

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3. Types of Samyaktva (as often described)

In both traditions, you will frequently see these 3 main types of samyak‑darshan:

1. Aupaśamika Samyaktva

- Due to suppression of Moha (Mohaniya karma), not full destruction. - Feels like: strong faith for some time, then it can fade or shake.

1. Kṣayopaśamika Samyaktva

- Mixed: some part of deluding karma destroyed, some suppressed. - More stable than aupaśamika, but still not 100% permanent.

1. Kṣāyika Samyaktva

- Mohaniya karma responsible for wrong belief fully destroyed. - This is permanent, unshakeable right faith; no fall back to mithyātva.

Also, some texts speak of Sāsvādana Samyaktva (taste of right faith) near change of stages – this is very short‑lived, just a “taste”.

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4. Eight aṅgas (characteristics) of true Samyak‑drishti

Traditionally, right faith has 8 limbs (aṅga).

1. Niśaṅkitā – no doubt in tattvas and true dharma.
2. Nikāṅkṣitā – no worldly expectation from dharma (not doing dharma for marks, money, health, etc.).
3. Nirvicikitsā – no disgust / shame / aversion for Jin‑agya, sadhus, practices.
4. Amūḍha‑drishti – not confused by wrong teachers, miracles, fear, etc.
5. Upagūhana – protect and cover faults of fellow followers with empathy.
6. Sthiti‑karaṇa – help others stay firm in right faith.
7. Vātsalya – deep affection for those walking on dharma.
8. Prabhāvanā – you like to honor, spread, and support true Jain dharma.

The more steadily these 8 appear, the stronger and purer the Samyaktva.

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5. Applying this to what you described

You mentioned:

• Strong faith in Panch Parmeshthi; you don’t worship other devs.
• Often spontaneous samveg (intense desire for moksh).
• Nirved (disgust towards samsār) – “in and out”.
• Anukampā (compassion) for sansārī jiv.
• Aasthā in Jain tattvas, with some occasional doubts.
• Sometimes strong bhakti, sometimes very low.
• Blaming dharma when marks are low, when scolded, etc.
• Laziness / pramād – you do samayik etc. only when pushed.
• Shyness / discomfort when people stare at sadhus and you.
• A period of intense anger and violent thoughts toward a teacher; later deep regret and asking forgiveness mentally.
• A dream where you chanted Navkar when attacked.

Let’s map this against the qualities:

a) Your positive signs of Samyaktva‑tendency

• Anukampā, samveg, nirved, aasthā – these are very close to:

- Vātsalya, Prabhāvanā, Anukampā style bhāvas.

• You do not accept or worship non‑Jain devs, and you clearly accept Jin‑vani as true – this shows the direction of your vision is right.
• You feel regret for violent thoughts and seek forgiveness – this is very important. It shows:

- kasāy (anger) is there, but - you are not proud of it; you want to purify it.

• You like bhakti, even when lazy – so there is inner respect and love for dharma, not hatred.

All this is not the mentality of a hard Mithyā‑drishti who rejects Jain tattva. It suggests a strong pull toward Samyaktva.

b) Your obstacles and what they mean

1. Blaming dharma when things go wrong

- This shows disturbance in Nikāṅkṣitā and Niśaṅkitā. - Somewhere inside, there is an expectation: “Because I have faith / did puja / did this, my worldly result should be good.” - But dharma is not a guarantee of marks, praise, or physical protection. Dharm = purification of karma and soul, not a business deal for worldly success. - This is a very common weakness even in many shravaks; it doesn’t mean you have no Samyaktva, but that your Samyaktva is not yet steady and pure.

1. Laziness (pramād) and doing dharm only when pushed

- This affects charitra, not only darshan. - Even a Samyag‑drishti can have pramād until higher gunasthān. - So this alone does not disprove Samyaktva, but it blocks your growth.

1. Occasional small doubts, slight shyness, dislike when people stare at you with sadhus

- These show that Nirvicikitsā and Amūḍha‑drishti are not yet full and stable. - But they are small waves; they become dangerous only if you turn away from dharma because of them. You are not doing that.

1. Violent thoughts toward your teacher (even for years)

- Having such thoughts is a form of krodha‑kasāy (anger‑passion) under Mohaniya karma. - A right‑faith person can still have strong kasāy up to a point. - The key questions are: - Did you feel it is correct to kill? You did not; you later regretted. - Did you try to actually do it? No. - Did you eventually see it as sinful and wrong, seek forgiveness, and want to leave such bhāva? Yes.

So this is not proof that you lack Samyaktva; it shows strong past karma of anger and low control, but also a living conscience.

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6. So, what type of Samyaktva might be there?

We must be very clear:

• Exact gunasthān and exact Samyaktva‑type of a person is perfectly known only to a Kevali (omniscient).
• Any human or our own judgment can only be approximate.

Based only on what you shared, in simple terms:

• You do not appear like a full Mithyā‑drishti (1st gunasthān), because:

- You have clear faith in Jain tattva and Panch Parmeshthi. - You are not attracted to other devs or wrong paths. - You feel samveg, anukampā, nirved.

• At the same time, your faith shakes, you blame dharma, you have expectations from dharma, and you have intense kasāy and pramād.

So you are likely somewhere around:

• Sāsvādana / Samyak‑mithyātva / Avirata Samyag‑drishti zone (2nd–4th gunasthān) –

in other words: > You have a strong pull toward true Samyaktva, have already “tasted” it, and have some level of right belief, > but it is not yet absolutely firm, pure, and vow‑supported.

This corresponds, in simple words, to:

• Aupaśamika or Kṣayopaśamika Samyaktva‑tendencies – faith that comes strong and then weakens, mixed with laziness and worldly attraction.

Don’t be disheartened by this. For most shravaks, this is normal and is in fact a good stage because from here, true progress is very possible and fast, if you work on it.

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7. Can a Samyag‑drishti have such bad thoughts?

You asked: > “Can a Samyaktvi really get such thoughts?”

Answer in Jain siddhānta:

• Yes, until higher stages, a Samyag‑drishti can still have:

- anger, pride, deceit, greed, - bad imaginations, even violent thoughts, - attraction to taste, comfort, travel, etc.

• The difference is:

1. Inside, he knows it is wrong. 2. He does not justify it by philosophy. 3. He regrets, does pratikraman, seeks forgiveness, and wants to change. 4. Over time, the frequency and intensity reduce.

So your strong regret and inner apology to your teacher is actually more important than the earlier violent thought. It shows Jin‑darshan is working within you.

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8. Important correction: blaming dharma vs. law of karma

When marks are less, or you are beaten, scolded, etc., a thought comes:

> “Despite my faith, this bad happened. What is the use of dharma?”

From Jain view:

• Dharma is not a shield that blocks all painful karmas from giving result.
• Old karma must give its result. Even Tirthankars face the result of old karmas (like injuries, insults, etc.).
• The benefit of dharma is:

- You create better new karma, - You weaken and shed old karma faster, - You respond with more equanimity (samata), - You move closer to moksh.

So when you suffer and then blame dharma, it means:

• You are mixing dharma with worldly success.
• With practice, shift this attitude to:

> “This is my old karma’s result. > Let me bear it with patience, without creating new anger‑karma. > Dharma is my support to remain stable, not a deal to remove all pain instantly.”

This shift is a major step toward purer Samyaktva.

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9. How to strengthen and stabilize your Samyaktva

To move from “sometimes strong, sometimes weak” faith toward steady Samyaktva, do small but regular things:

1. Daily Namokar with understanding

- Not mechanical; feel: - Arihant – pure, vitarag ideal; - Siddha – final goal; - Acharya – discipline; - Upadhyaya – scriptural wisdom; - Sadhu – living example.

1. Short but sincere Samayik

- Even 20–30 minutes a day. - Focus: “I am soul, separate from body, marks, insult, praise.”

1. Anupreksha (reflections) – especially:

- Anitya – everything worldly (marks, body, praise, insult) is temporary. - Asrava / Bandha – whenever you get angry, you are adding new chains. - Moksh – my real aim.

1. Pratikraman and Alochana

- Honestly recall in the evening: - “Where did I blame dharma today?” - “Where did I get violent thoughts, hatred, jealousy?” - Bow mentally, ask forgiveness, and resolve not to repeat.

1. Gradual control of kasāy

- When you feel anger rising, repeat internally: - “This is my own old karma result, not this person’s fault alone.” - Even if anger comes, try to shorten its duration a little each time.

1. Reduce expectations from dharma

- If something good happens after puja, don’t think: “See, I did puja, so got this.” - Just think: “Whatever comes is my karma; puja purifies my soul.”

1. Stay close to satsang and swādhyāy

- Listen / read about Samyak‑darshan, Gunasthān, Mohaniya karma etc. - For example, learning about Mithyātva vs Samyaktva will clarify your doubts.

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10. About your dream with Navkar

In your dream, when attacked, your spontaneous reaction was to chant Navkar Mantra, and the demon left.

• Jain texts consider such spontaneous remembrance of Arihant / Mantra in crisis as a good sign of deep sanskār.
• It does not “prove” a certain gunasthān, but it shows:

- Your inner refuge is truly dharma, - Not only in waking state, but also in dream.

This is a very encouraging sign.

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11. In one line: Where you stand and what to do

From your own description:

• You have real Samyaktva‑tendencies: faith in tattvas, Panch Parmeshthi, samveg, nirved, anukampā.
• But your Samyaktva is not yet fully steady, pure, and expectation‑free.
• Anger, laziness, slight doubt, blaming dharma, and worldly attraction show that Mohaniya karma is still strong, which is normal for a progressing shravak.

Your work now is not to obsess about: > “Am I 3rd or 4th gunasthān? Aupaśamika or Kṣayopaśamika?”

Your work is to gently but firmly:

• Deepen Niśaṅkitā (remove doubt),
• Remove Nikāṅkṣitā (stop worldly expectations from dharma),
• Strengthen Nirvicikitsā (no shame in following dharma publicly),
• Maintain Anukampā, Vātsalya, Prabhāvanā.

As these 8 aṅgas become stronger and more stable in you, your Samyaktva will clearly become purer and more permanent, and the ups‑and‑downs you described will slowly reduce.

Jai Jinendra.