What you are describing is actually two things mixed together:

1. Very deep sensitivity to hiṁsā (violence) and pāp
2. A general, long‑standing tendency to fear and anxiety

From a Jain dharma point of view, both need to be understood separately and then balanced.

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1. Sensitivity to hiṁsā, leaves, flowers, fruits – what does it mean spiritually?

In Jainism, such feelings often show:

• Subtle awareness of karma – You are not moving through life blindly. You are aware that every action has a result.
• Saṁvega (spiritual shock / restlessness about saṁsār) – A kind of inner shake‑up: “This world is full of bondage, I don’t want to keep falling in it.”
• Growing ahiṁsā‑bhāva – A tender heart that does not want to hurt even a leaf or flower.

These are generally good signs in Jain dharma, because:

• Many people do extreme hiṁsā without a second thought.
• You are feeling pain even for small things (fallen leaves, fruit peels).
• That indicates some saṁskāra from past lives – you may have practiced restraint or spirituality earlier, so your heart is naturally soft now.

But: When this sensitivity turns into constant fear and deep regret for every tiny act, it can cross the healthy line and become bhaya (fear) and kuprajñā (distorted thinking about dharma).

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2. What is healthy Jain fear and what is unhealthy fear?

Healthy fear (bhaya with vivek)

Jain texts allow a kind of “wise fear”:

• Fear of continuing in endless birth‑death due to carelessness
• Fear of doing intentional bad karmas (cruelty, cheating, lying, ego)
• This fear pushes one towards:

- Carefulness in daily actions (samiti) - Repentance and correction (prāyaścitta) - Right path (samyak darśan, jñān, chāritra)

This is constructive. It leads to peace and progress.

Unhealthy fear (bhaya as kaṣāya)

When fear becomes:

• “Whatever I do is sin.”
• “I am trapped, I cannot live without doing pāp.”
• “I am always wrong.”
• “I cannot even peel a fruit without guilt.”

Then this becomes bhaya‑kaṣāya (a passion in itself), and that itself binds karma.

Jain Āchāryas say:

• Over‑fear, over‑guilt, and self‑torture are also a form of mithyātva (wrong approach).
• Dharma should make the mind lighter, clearer, and more stable, not constantly terrified.

So, dharma is not asking you to live in panic.

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3. Are genetics / personality also a cause?

You wrote: > I'm naturally a person who gets scared even otherwise … maybe genetics.

From Jain view:

• Our prakṛti (nature) is shaped by past karmas.
• Some are naturally:

- more fearful - more angry - more emotional - more detached

So yes, your “scared nature” can be:

• Partly physical / mental constitution in this life (genes, upbringing),
• And partly the result of adhyavasāya (past karmic tendencies).

This means:

• Don’t hate yourself for it.
• But also don’t say, “This is just how I am, nothing can change.”
• Jain dharma is exactly for transforming these inner tendencies slowly, with understanding.

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4. Understanding day‑to‑day hiṁsā correctly

Very important point:

Jainism clearly accepts two levels:

1. Inevitable, minimal hiṁsā of living

- Walking on the ground - Breathing - Eating even simple vegetarian food - Peeling fruit, cleaning house, etc.

1. Deliberate, avoidable, intentional hiṁsā

- Killing, cruelty, torture - Encouraging violence - Destroying nature carelessly - Hurting others for ego, greed, anger, etc.

The śāstras say:

• We must minimize inevitable hiṁsā, not become paralyzed by it.
• The main bondage comes from:

- intentional cruelty, - strong attachments and aversions (rāg–dveṣa), - and wrong beliefs.

So:

• Walking carefully and not stamping leaves is good.
• But if your mind is suffocating in fear while walking, that fear itself is a new bondage.
• Peeling a fruit without cruelty, with awareness and gratitude, and then offering a small prayer, is spiritually acceptable for a householder.

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5. How to balance: caring heart + calm mind

a) Focus on bhāva (inner attitude), not perfection of every outer act

Ask yourself:

• “Am I intending to harm?”
• “Or am I just living, with care, but also with limits?”

If intention is:

• Careful, humble, grateful → karma is lighter.
• Fearful, self‑hating, panicky → that fear now becomes its own problem.

b) Accept that as a gṛhastha (householder) you cannot be 100% non‑violent

Jain dharma is very realistic:

• 5 great vows (mahāvrat) for monks.
• Smaller vows (aṇuvrat) for householders, within practical limits.

You are meant to:

• Eat simple, pure food (as per your capacity).
• Avoid violent professions, cruel hobbies, intentional damage.
• Do pratikraman / reflection for unintentional hiṁsā.

Not to:

• Torture yourself mentally for every breath and every peel of a fruit.

c) Transform guilt into pratikraman, not panic

Whenever you feel:

> “Oh no, I might have hurt something!”

Gently do:

1. A small internal pratikraman

- “If I have caused any harm knowingly or unknowingly, I regret it and ask forgiveness.”

1. Make a sankalp

- “From now, I will try to be a little more careful and kind.”

Then let it go. Holding on to guilt after sincere repentance is not dharma.

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6. What your fear of saṁsār and bhav bhraman could be showing

Positively, it may mean:

• You are seeing the truth that saṁsār is unstable and full of suffering.
• You don’t want to keep wandering in confusion.
• There is some deep samskār of vairāgya (detachment) starting to wake up.

But if that awareness is mixed with:

• already anxious personality
• overthinking
• possible biological / psychological anxiety

then it can feel overwhelming instead of inspiring.

Jain dharma wants:

• Saṁvega (seriousness about liberation)

with

• Praśraya / śānti (inner humility and calm)

not continuous terror.

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7. Practical steps to handle this, in a Jain way

1. Daily small sādhanā

- Even 10–15 minutes of: - Deep breathing with awareness of the soul - Repetition of Navkār Mantra with calmness - Focus more on śānti (peace) than on “I am a sinner”.

1. Right understanding of hiṁsā

- Read / listen (from authentic sources or a good Jain guru) about: - Difference between inevitable vs intentional hiṁsā - Duties of a gṛhastha - This corrects your “mental picture” of sin and helps reduce unnecessary fear.

1. Limit how much you think about fear of saṁsār

- Too much brooding on: - “I will keep taking birth, this is horrible, I am trapped” - can push the mind towards depression and tamas (heaviness). - Instead, think: - “Saṁsār is indeed painful, but I have a human birth and Jain dharma. There is a clear path. Step by step I will walk it.”

1. Serve and be kind in simple ways

- Help people, animals, environment, without over‑analyzing. - A lot of inner fear softens when we engage in simple seva with shraddhā.

1. If anxiety is very strong, take worldly help also

- Jainism does not say you must suffer mental illness in the name of dharma. - If your fear affects: - sleep, - normal functioning, - relationships, - then calmly consult a good doctor / therapist. - Medical or psychological support + Jain sādhanā often work very well together.

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8. In summary

• Your care for leaves, flowers, fruit and fear of pāp shows a soft, spiritually sensitive heart.
• This is a valuable quality, likely linked to past good saṁskāras.
• At the same time, your natural tendency to be scared (even outside dharma topics) suggests an anxious temperament – this can color even your dharmic feelings into over‑fear.
• Jain dharma wants balanced ahiṁsā:

- Be careful and kind in actions, - Do pratikraman for mistakes, - But do not crush yourself with guilt and terror.

• Transform your fear into:

- Understanding, - Gentle discipline, - Regular, peaceful sādhanā.

With time, the same heart that now trembles in fear of saṁsār can become steadily detached, compassionate, and peaceful, which is exactly what Jain dharma aims for.