Your questions and your feelings are very deep, and they actually show a strong shraddhā (faith) in moksh, kevalgyan and Mahavideh Kshetra – this is a good thing, not a bad thing.

Let’s look at your main points one by one, in simple Jain terms.

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1. “When will I get moksh / kevalgyan? How many bhav are left?”

According to Jain Dharma:

• The exact number of bhav left for any ordinary soul is not known to us.
• Only Kevalgyani Bhagwān knows such exact details of each jiva’s karmas.
• For us (sādhak, shravak-shravikā), the focus given in scriptures is:

- Right now: How can I reduce bandhan (new bondage of karma)? - How can I increase samvar–nirjarā (stopping and shedding of karma)? - How can I move steadily toward samyak darshan, samyak jnān, samyak chāritra?

So, having curiosity about moksh is good, but becoming restless for exact numbers like “how many bhav are left” can become a subtle attachment (rāg) itself.

Jain view:

• “Kab moksh milega?” is less important than

“Aaj main kitnī mithyātva, krodh, mān, māyā, lobh kam kar sakta/ sakti hoon?”

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2. Helping dying ants with Navkār – is this good?

You are doing Navkār mantra near dying ants, with the feeling that:

> “If they take birth in devlok, then they can come down to me and I can send them to Mahavideh kevalgyani Bhagwān, so I can get my answers.”

There are two parts here:

(A) The good side

1. Karunā (compassion):

- Remembering Navkār at the time of any jiva’s death is auspicious. - It creates shubha bhāv in you. - It may create a soft, peaceful environment around that dying jiva. - This is a good Jain habit: remembering Navkār in moments of fear, pain, death.

1. Smruti of Navkār:

- Repeating Navkār again and again increases bhakti and nissangta (detachment) slowly. - This certainly helps in your own spiritual progress.

(B) Where it becomes slightly mixed or selfish

You are thinking:

• “I will help them so that later they help me (as dev, coming to me, taking me to Mahavideh kevalgyani Bhagwān etc.).”

This shows expectation (āpekshā) and deal-type thinking:

> “I will do this punya so I later get a specific result and my questions are answered.”

In Jain dharma, this is called shubha rāg:

• It is still better than pure selfishness or violence.
• But it is not completely nishkām, nirleyp (desireless).

So:

• Your act is not cruel.
• You are not a bad person.
• But your intention can become purer:

Instead of: > “Let them become dev and later help me with my curiosity.”

Try to move toward: > “May their duḥkh reduce, may their gati (next birth) improve, > and may all souls (including me) progress towards moksh.”

This change in bhāv makes your punya much more powerful and spiritual.

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3. Wanting to know: “When will I be free?” – selfish or natural?

In Jainism:

• Desire for moksh itself is not selfish.
• It is our real, natural goal as a jiva.
• All great sādhaks, Tirthankars also had this intense mumukshutā (strong wish for liberation).

Where it becomes a problem is:

• When we want moksh only as information or curiosity:

- “Kaunse varsh?” - “Kitne bhav?” - “Kaunse dev mujhe bataayega?”

• Instead of:

- “How can I purify my bhāv right now?”

Jain teachings say:

• Knowing “how many bhav are left” does not change our karmas.
• Changing our inner state (bhāv) right now does change karmas.

So the practical path is:

• Accept: “I do not know how many bhav.”
• Decide: “I will make each bhav, each din, as spiritually valuable as possible.”

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4. Role of Mahavideh Kshetra and Kevalgyani there

You are correctly aware:

• In Bharat Kshetra, Pancham Kāl (our current era):

- No Tirthankar, no new Kevalgyani, - No direct moksh from here.

• In Mahavideh Kshetra:

- Tirthankars are present, - Moksh is possible right now. ( jainknowledge.com)

Our actual Jain sādhanā is:

• To create such bhāv and karmas that in some future bhav,

we get: - birth in a good human form in a samyak-darshan-possible region, or - ultimately, birth in Mahavideh Kshetra with the right upādhi, and then - attain kevalgyan and moksh.

So, your connection to Mahavideh is not wrong. But instead of complicated “dev will come, then I will go, then I will ask”:

Focus on:

• Navkār, samayik, pratikraman, swadhyāy, anuvrat, tapas now.
• These directly prepare you for that Mahavideh-type bhav in future.

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5. How to purify your current bhāv practically

Here is a simple way to turn your current feelings into very pure Jain sādhanā:

1. Continue Navkār near dying jivas, but change inner dialogue:

- “I bow to all Arihant, Siddha, Acharya, Upadhyaya, Sādhu. May the karmas of this jiva soften. May it rise to better gati. May my own delusion reduce.”

1. Remove “deal-thinking” step by step:

- If you notice: “I am doing this so they later help me,” gently correct yourself: - “Let me do this as seva to jiva and vandana of Navkār only.”

1. Daily small sādhanā:

- 9 / 27 / 108 Navkār with calm mind. - Short samayik (even 10–15 minutes of sitting calmly, trying to stay in present, watching thoughts). - Night: small alpa-pratikraman – remember where you harmed others (even in thoughts), say “Micchāmi Dukkadam” in your heart.

1. Study (swadhyāy):

- Read or listen to simple Jain texts / pravachan about: - nature of soul, - karma, - Mahavideh, - lives of Tirthankars. - This converts curiosity into right understanding.

You can also explore similar questions answered in simple language here

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6. Are you mean or selfish?

From what you wrote:

• You care about moksh, kevalgyan, Mahavideh.
• You remember Navkār mantra and think of even ants at their death.

This is not the mind of a cruel or mean person.

What is happening is:

• Your mumukshutā (desire for liberation) is strong,
• But it is mixed with:

- anxiety, - imagination about future births and devlok, - and curiosity for exact answers.

Jain path will slowly guide this into:

• Calm, steady vairāgya instead of anxious curiosity.
• Nishkām karunā (compassion without expectation).
• Focus on today’s bhāv, not counting future bhav.

So, you are not bad. You are simply at a beautiful but sensitive stage of spiritual awakening, and you now need:

• More clarity,
• More surrender,
• Less calculation.

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Final essence in one line

Turn your “When will I get moksh?” into “How can I make this very moment more like a soul moving to moksh?”

Every time you do that, whether near an ant or alone in your room, you are truly walking toward the answer that even you are longing for.