What has awakened in you is vairāgya – genuine dispassion and clarity about the reality of saṁsār.

When you saw that uncle’s death poster and suddenly understood, “All this running – school, job, marriage, money – and in the end, I just die and take nothing with me,” this is exactly the kind of inner shake-up Jain texts describe as:

• saṁsār anitya bodh – seeing the world is temporary
• maraṇa-smaraṇa – deep remembrance/awareness of death
• which naturally gives rise to vairāgya – a feeling of “this cannot be the real goal of life.”

So yes: • This feeling _is_ a form of vairāgya. But: • This alone does _not_ mean you should immediately take dīkṣā.

Why not decide “dīkṣā” just by one intense feeling?

In Jain dharma:

• Vairāgya is the beginning, like a strong wake‑up call.
• Dīkṣā (renunciation as monk/nun) is a very deep, lifelong commitment to:

- total celibacy - no possessions - leaving family, comfort, career completely - strict daily discipline, travels on foot, fasting, etc.

For dīkṣā, Jain ācāryas insist on:

1. Stable vairāgya – not only a few months’ feeling after a shock, but a calm, tested conviction over time.
2. Right understanding (samyag-darshan & samyag-jñān) – clear knowledge of what vows mean, what karmas are, what the path demands.
3. Guidance of a living Guru – Digambar or Śvetāmbara, according to your tradition, who can examine:

- your mental stability - your family situation - your capacity for tapas (austerity) - whether this is real calling or temporary emotion.

What to do with this feeling _right now_

Instead of jumping straight to “Should I take dīkṣā?”, Jain dharma would gently guide you to:

1. Strengthen your inner path as a śrāvaka/śrāvikā (lay follower):

- Do daily sāmāyik (even 20–30 minutes of equanimity/meditation). - Start (or increase) small vows: ahimsā in food, speech control, simple living, reducing luxuries. - Regular svādhyāy (study) of Jain texts or pravachans.

1. Stay in this awareness of anitya (impermanence):

Keep remembering: “Everything here is temporary; only the soul and its qualities are truly mine.” This keeps vairāgya alive and matures it.

1. Seek a real Jain Guru and open your heart honestly:

- Tell them everything: your experience, your attraction toward renunciation, your fears, your family situation. - Accept their guidance and timeline; true Gurus do _not_ rush anyone into dīkṣā.

Does this mean you will or will not take dīkṣā later?

• Your current feeling shows good saṁskāras and past-life punya.
• It is a strong sign that you should live more spiritually focused, not lost in blind worldly race.
• Whether this matures into monk/nun dīkṣā in this life depends on:

- your continued practice, - your inner steadiness over years, - and your Guru’s decision.

So:

• Name of your feeling: early stage of vairāgya / saṁsāra‑virakti.
• Next step: don’t suppress it, don’t rush it. Deepen it through Jain practice and proper guidance.
• Dīkṣā decision: only after long, stable vairāgya and approval of a competent Jain Guru, not based only on this one powerful experience.

Your inner shake is very precious. Protect it by right study, right company (satsang), and disciplined practice. Let it grow slowly and purely.