i am non jain but my girlfriend is jain and her parents are not accepting inter cast marriage
In Jain dharma, the problem is not you being “non‑Jain” or “other caste” in a religious sense. The main issue is usually family fear, social pressure, and worry about Jain values being lost.
From Jain point of view (in simple words):
- Jain scriptures do not clearly ban:
- Marriage is seen as a social arrangement for household life, not a strict religious ritual.
- What really matters in Jainism is:
You can read more detailed Jain answers on this topic here:
Why her parents may be refusing (from Jain family view)
Typical reasons:
- Fear that:
- House will not remain strictly vegetarian / no alcohol. - Jain festivals, temples, and daily prayers will be ignored. - Children will not follow Jain values.
- Social image in their community (relatives, society talks).
- Worry about cultural differences and long‑term compatibility.
What you can practically do
- Show respect for Jain dharma in action, not only words
- Be ready to be fully vegetarian (ideally life‑long), and avoid alcohol/smoking. - Show you respect her doing pratikraman, Paryushan, temple visits, etc. - If you honestly cannot follow some things, be clear – but don’t fake.
- Have a calm, truthful talk with her parents
- Go with humility, not ego. - You can say simple things like: - “I respect Jain dharma and your values.” - “I am ready to support her in remaining a good Jain and teaching Jain values to our children.” - “We want a simple life with ahimsa, truth and respect.” - Do not argue on religion, do not insult their community or traditions.
- Take help from a respected Jain elder (lay person, not monk)
- Digambar / Shwetambar monks normally do not give personal approvals for marriages; they stay away from such worldly matters. - But a respected Jain lay elder, scholar, or family friend can: - Explain to her parents that Jain dharma does not preach caste discrimination. - Emphasize that character and values are more important than caste.
- Be ready for time and patience
- Many Jain parents first say strong “No” because of fear. - When they see: - You are stable, responsible, - You are not forcing their daughter to leave Jain path, - You are ready to adjust, they sometimes slowly soften.
- Keep everything non‑violent and truthful
- Don’t plan secret marriage, cheating, or emotional blackmail. - From Jain view, building a life on lies and hurt will give more pain and bad karma to everyone, including you and her. - If, in future, you both choose to marry even without family support, still do it with: - maximum honesty, - minimum hurt to parents, - and maximum respect for Jain principles in your new home.
Essence in one line
Jain dharma itself does not reject you because of caste or religion; it only asks: “Will this relationship be based on ahimsa, truth, and respect for Jain way of life?” If you can genuinely live that way and patiently show it, there is the best chance for her parents to slowly accept.