First, what you are describing are intrusive thoughts. In Jain terms, they are ashubha vichar arising in the mind – but they are not the same as actual himsā, and they are not the same as your real bhāva (inner intention), which is clearly full of shraddhā and bhakti.

I’ll answer in simple points.

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1. What might be the cause from a Jain view?

From Jain karma theory, such thoughts can come from:

1. Darshan-mohaniya & Mano-varganā

Old karmas related to delusion and mind-material can suddenly give rise to strange, opposite, or violent thoughts, even when the soul does not like them.

1. Past habits / sanskār

In some past births there may have been: - Irreverence towards great beings - Carelessness in speech about Tirthankars/sādhus - Enjoyment of violent fantasies or harshness to living beings

The exact past act cannot be known, but Jain Āgams say: “Jo bhāvo hoy, tevo bandho” – bondage depends on the present bhāva. Right now, your present bhāva is: “I do not want these thoughts. I feel pain, I repent.” That bhāva is not causing fresh heavy pāp; rather it is helping old karma uday (fruition) and kshaya (destruction).

So: these thoughts are more likely the result of old karma coming into uday – not a sign that you are an evil person now.

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2. Do such thoughts extend my saṃsār without limit?

No, not if:

• You do not enjoy these thoughts
• You do not encourage them
• You do not act on them
• You honestly repent when they arise

In Jainism, bandh (new bondage) depends on: intention + approval + enjoyment + repetition.

In your case:

• As soon as thought arises, you feel shock and pain
• You say “Vosirāmi, Michhami Dukkadam”
• You do ālochanā–pratikramaṇ (aloyikā pāṭh)
• You criticize yourself and resolve not to think like that

This shows prāyaścitta-bhāva, not himsā-bhāva. That reduces karmic load.

So:

• These thoughts alone, against your will, do not endlessly extend saṃsār.
• Your repentance and fear of sin (pāp-bhīti) are actually protecting you.

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3. How to look at these thoughts correctly in Jain way?

Think like this:

1. “These are old karmas discharging through the mind.”
2. “I, the soul, am the knower-seer (Gnāta-Drashtā) of these thoughts.”
3. “They are not me; they are like a bad scene passing on a screen.”

What increases problem:

• “I am bad because these thoughts came.”
• “I am committing new sins just by having them.”

What helps:

• “I do not accept these thoughts; they are just passing karmic effects.”
• “My true nature is shuddha ātmā, full of knowledge and peace.”

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4. Practical Jain steps you are already doing (and can gently strengthen)

You are already doing many right things:

• Saying Vosirāmi (I stop / I give up the fault)
• Saying Michhami Dukkadam
• Reciting Aloyikā pāṭh / Ālochana–Pratikramaṇ

You can add or strengthen:

1. Navkār Mantra with special bhāva

- Before starting any sādhanā, pray: “Hey Arihant–Siddha–Āchārya–Upādhyāy–Sādhu Bhagwant, may no disrespectful or violent thought arise in my mind; if it arises due to old karma, may I remain only the knower-seer.”

1. Short protective bhāvanās (whenever thought comes):

- “Savve jīvā mittā me, veram majjha na kenai – All beings are my friends; I have enmity with none.” - “I bow to Tirthankar Bhagwān with pure devotion; these thoughts are not my wish.”

1. Do not fight the thought harshly

In Jain psychology, strong dvesh towards the thought can sometimes give it more power. Better: - Notice it - Do pratikraman once - Then gently bring mind back to mantra, swādhyāy, or shuddhopayog.

1. Daily routine (even small):

- A little swādhyāy (e.g., Navkār arth, Tattvārth sutra easy portion, bhakti pāths) - Short Samayik (even 10–15 mins) with focus on “I am shuddha ātmā” - If possible, regular Pratikraman (short or long)

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5. Is it a sin to have these thoughts?

From Jain standpoint:

• Unwanted intrusive thought = light karmic fruition, like a cloud.
• Wanting, enjoying, repeating it = actual new sin, heavy karmic bandh.

You:

• Do not want them
• Feel immense pain when they come
• Immediately repent

So, main puṇya/pāp here:

• Pāp udaya: the ugly thought flickers for a moment
• Puṇya bhāva: your deep respect, fear of himsā, repentance, and love for Tirthankars

Overall, your bhakti and repentance are stronger than the temporary thought.

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6. About your fear and tension

Fear itself can:

• Make the mind more obsessed with “What if I get that thought again?”
• And that very fear can pull the same thought back.

Jain way to handle:

1. Accept calmly:

“Yes, such a thought may come due to old karma. When it comes, I will: - stay knower-seer, - say Vosirāmi once with feeling, - and then let it go.”

1. Trust in Tirthankar’s compassion:

Tirthankar Bhagwān is vitrag, beyond hurt, beyond our thoughts. We cannot actually harm Him by thought. Only our own karmic state changes, and you are making it purer by sincere guilt and pratikraman.

1. Do maitri-bhāvanā:

- “I am friend of all beings; may no one be harmed because of me, in any way.”

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7. If it feels too heavy mentally

Jain dharma accepts that:

• Body, speech, and mind all have their own weaknesses and conditions.
• Just like we take help for a body illness, taking professional help for mind stress/anxiety is not against Jainism, as long as we keep ahimsa and satya in mind.

So, if you:

• Cannot sleep
• Remain in shock or tension for many hours regularly
• Feel life functioning is disturbed

then along with your spiritual sādhanā, calmly consulting a sensitive mental-health professional (and explaining your religious context) can be very helpful. It does not reduce your shraddhā; it supports your mind so you can do bhakti more peacefully.

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8. In summary (very simply)

• These are most likely old karmas giving bad thoughts, not your real self.
• Your pain, repentance, and bhakti show a very soft and pure heart, not a cruel one.
• Such unwanted thoughts, when handled with pratikraman + right understanding, do not endlessly increase saṃsār.
• Continue:

- Navkār with bhāva - Vosirāmi, Michhami Dukkadam - Aloyikā / Pratikraman - Maitri-bhāvanā and shuddha ātmā-bhāvanā

And gently remind yourself:

> “I am not these thoughts. > I am shuddha ātmā, the knower-seer. > These thoughts are old karma burning and passing away.”

If you wish to read more on forgiveness and Michhami Dukkadam, you can see this explanation here: Michhami Dukkadam – meaning and use in Jainism