In Jain dharma, what you are feeling is very precious and very rare.

The main words for this are:

1. Saṁvega (संवेग)

- Deep shock and restlessness on seeing the truth of saṁsār. - When you see death, suffering, and the endless cycle of birth and death, and your heart starts crying from inside — that is saṁvega. - It shakes you and makes you ask, “What is the real purpose of this life?”

1. Vairāgya (वैराग्य)

- Inner disinterest in worldly enjoyments and routine life. - When you feel: “Just studying, earning, marrying, raising children, running behind money for 30–40 years and then dying — this cannot be the final purpose of life.” That is vairāgya. - Not hatred of the world, but understanding that it is temporary and cannot give real, permanent happiness.

1. Moksha-icchhā / Kalyāṇ-mitrī bhāvanā

- A strong desire for liberation, and also for the welfare of all souls. - You said you “had immense desire of moksh” and even thought of becoming a Tirthankar to relieve everyone’s pain. - This is a form of karuṇā (compassion) joined with moksha-icchhā (desire for liberation). - In Jain terms, this direction is very auspicious: wishing that not only you, but all jīvas, are freed from suffering.

So, in short, what arose in you can be described as:

• Saṁvega + Vairāgya + Moksha-icchhā.

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How to handle these feelings correctly in Jain way

1. Do not suppress it or think you are “overreacting”

This sensitivity is a sign of awakening, not weakness.

1. Connect it to right effort (samyak prayatna)

Instead of only crying or feeling helpless, start small but steady steps: - Daily Jain pratikraman (if possible, even short form). - Regular Swādhyāy (Jain scripture study, pravachan, or listening to discourses). - Practice ahiṁsā, satya, asteya, brahmacharya, aparigraha at your level. - Reduce unnecessary desires slowly.

1. Understand becoming a Tirthankar

- To become a Tirthankar requires extremely special karmic causes collected over many births. - But wanting to help all souls and feeling pain for their suffering is a very pure bhāva and supports your own spiritual growth. - Even if you do not become a Tirthankar, you can still: - Walk towards samyak darshan (right faith) - Purify your own soul - Be a small light for others by living dharma sincerely.

1. Avoid depression, keep balanced vairāgya

Jain dharma does not want us to become negative or hopeless. - See saṁsār clearly, but also remember: - Every jīva can attain moksha. - Your own effort right now has real value. - Let your sadness about saṁsār become shakti for sādhanā, not just pain.

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Very simply:

• Your shock at death = saṁvega
• Your feeling that worldly life is empty = vairāgya
• Your crying for all souls and strong pull toward moksha = moksha-icchhā with karuṇā

These are all very auspicious states of mind in Jain dharma. Take care of them gently, strengthen them with right knowledge and small daily practices, and slowly they will guide your life in a spiritual direction.