Understand exactly which guṇasthāna your experience aligns with Learn how Ācāryas advise handling intrusive thoughts both I feel immesnse karuna for jeev, leaves on a tree , animals , algae I want to help liberate them all and then go to moksh also I want
I’ll answer in parts, step by step, in simple language.
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1. Your state and guṇasthāna (spiritual level)
From what you wrote:
- You fully believe that Jain Dharma is true.
- You have deep bhakti for Pañca-Parameṣṭhī only.
- You feel intense karuṇā for all jīvas and a strong icchā for mokṣa and even for Tīrthaṅkaratva.
- You do pratikraman, aloiyā, guru-vandanā and repent sincerely.
This clearly shows:
- You are not in mithyātva (wrong belief – 1st to 3rd guṇasthāna).
- You have samyak-darśan (right faith).
For a gṛhastha (lay person) like you, this usually matches:
- 4th guṇasthāna – Avirata Samyag-dṛṣṭi
If you one day take real anuvratas/mahāvratas firmly, you can go higher. Intrusive thoughts do not decide guṇasthāna; your actual faith, decisions, and effort decide it.
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2. “Am I an Abhavya jīva?”
In Jain Dharma:
- Bhavya jīva – one who will attain mokṣa some time.
- Abhavya jīva – one who will never attain mokṣa.
Abhavya is said for souls with extremely hardened passions (anantānubandhi krodh, mān, māyā, lobh) and no interest in dharma at all, life after life.
Look at yourself:
- You think all day of mokṣa, Tīrthaṅkars, sādhus.
- You feel pain thinking some jīvas may never be free.
- You fear sins, repent immediately, do “vosirāmi, micchāmi dukkadam, aloiyā”.
- You have strong desire to take dīkṣā and to uplift all jīvas.
These are very clear signs of bhavya, not abhavya.
If a soul were truly abhavya, it would not have such:
- deep śraddhā in Jain Dharma,
- longing for mokṣa and Tīrthaṅkaratva,
- pain on thinking of others’ endless suffering.
So you can calmly accept:
You are a bhavya jīva.
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3. Can Tīrthaṅkar nām-karma be bound in the 5th ārā?
Time (kālacakra) in Jainism has 6 ārās in each half-cycle.
In our current avasarpini (descending half):
- Tīrthaṅkars actually take birth only in 3rd and 4th ārā.
- Śrī Mahāvīr Swāmī attained nirvāṇa at the start of 5th ārā,
According to Jain tradition:
- In 5th ārā – new Tīrthaṅkar nām-karma is not bound,
- Your present strong bhav of Tīrthaṅkaratva becomes śubha bhāva and great puṇya,
Still, that intense desire to guide and uplift all is very precious. It can lead to high future bhavas like deva-yonī, high human birth, powerful dharma-supporting roles, etc.
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4. Your intrusive violent thoughts about Tīrthaṅkars / sādhus / jīvas
You wrote:
- When you are deep in bhakti or dharma, suddenly thoughts come like
- You do not want these thoughts.
- As soon as they arise, you feel shock, pain, strong regret, say
- This has gone on for about two years, now more rarely.
This is very similar to what modern psychology calls “intrusive thoughts” – but we will understand it only in Jain terms, as you asked.
4.1 How Jain Dharma views such thoughts
In Jain karma theory:
- Just arising of a thought = old karma giving its udaya (fruition).
- New bondage (bandha) mainly comes from:
Here in your case:
- The thought comes against your will.
- Immediately you feel “this is very wrong”.
- You do not enjoy it, you do not support it, you do not want to do it.
- Right after it, you go into repentance.
So:
- Old ashubha karmas may be giving such drṣṭi/gati of thought,
- Because your reaction is shock, guilt, and repentance,
Jain Ācāryas differentiate:
- Bhāva hiṁsā – real inner will to hurt.
- Dravya hiṁsā – actual physical act.
Your case is neither:
- There is no dravya hiṁsā (you are not harming anyone).
- There is actually no real bhāva hiṁsā, because you hate those thoughts and don’t agree with them.
So karmic point:
> These unwanted intrusive thoughts, quickly rejected and repented, > will not “infinitely stretch” your saṁsāra.
What can extend saṁsāra more is:
- continuous fear, self-hatred, and overthinking,
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4.2 What do Jain Ācāryas advise in such mental troubles?
The standard Jain path for handling wrong inner states is:
- Alochana – admit the fault/thought before the inner Guru (Ārihant, Sadhu).
- Pratikraman – say:
“I regret this; may it stop; I want to remain in right thought.”
- Pratyākhyān – take a small future resolve:
“I will not support or enjoy such thoughts.”
You are already doing this (vosirāmi, micchāmi dukkadam, aloiye).
But one extra point:
> Do not stretch the guilt for hours and hours. > After one sincere pratikraman, leave it there.
If you repeat:
- “I am very bad… I am horrible… maybe I will go to narak, infinite saṁsāra…”
Instead, pattern should be:
- Thought arises.
- You notice: “This is not my true bhāva, it is old karma.”
- Calmly do:
- “Aloyā, vosirāmi, micchāmi dukkadam.”
- Shift attention to:
- Navkār mantra, - tattva-chintan (jīva–ajīva–āsrava–saṁvar–nirjarā–mokṣa), - paṭh of stotras.
Short, sincere repentance + change of focus is enough.
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5. Your deep karuṇā and desire “First I want all to be free, then I will go to mokṣa”
This is a very beautiful and rare bhāva.
Jain tattva, however, is very clear:
- Every jīva is anādi and ananta, each is responsible for its own mokṣa.
- Even a Tīrthaṅkar cannot force any jīva to be liberated.
So:
- Your desire “I want to help all jīvas” is mahāpuṇya.
- But practically, you cannot stay in saṁsāra until “everyone goes”,
What you can do:
- Make this your inner prayer:
This keeps your karuṇā, but removes impossible burden from your mind.
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6. Practical step-by-step for you
To keep it very simple:
- Daily Navkār with understanding
- Slowly recite, think of each Pañca-Parameṣṭhī. - Feel safe in their presence.
- Short fixed pratikraman (morning or night)
- “Jo jo bhul thāyī hoī, mano-vachan-kāyā-thī, sav kāraṇ vosirāmi, micchāmi dukkadam.” - Once done sincerely, do not repeat guilt for the same thing.
- When intrusive thought comes
- Say in mind: “This is not my real self, it is old karma.” - Do: - one alochana–pratikraman sentence, - 5–9 times Navkār, then shift topic. - Do not sit in fear for hours; that gives the thought importance.
- Study simple Jain tattva
- Even a small daily reading on - 9 tattvas, - 6 dravyas, - guṇasthānas will give you clarity and inner stability.
- Bhakti, but without pressure
- Talk mentally to Tīrthaṅkar Bhagwān as you do; it is okay. - But remember: They are kṣayikī-kevalīs, beyond any harm, so your passing thoughts cannot truly touch them.
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7. Summary for your main fears
- “Am I abhavya?”
- “Will these thoughts make my saṁsāra infinite?”
- “Which guṇasthāna am I in?”
- “Can Tīrthaṅkar nām-karma be bound in 5th ārā?”
Continue your path calmly, with trust in Jina-vāṇī and without excessive fear.