As a Jain, you try to handle such situations with ahimsa (non‑violence), kshama (forgiveness), and samata (equanimity) – not by taking sides in anger.

Here is a simple, practical way to respond:

1. Stay calm and don’t add more hurt

- Don’t insult, gossip about, or take revenge on the rude friend. - Remember: harsh words are also a form of himsa (violence) through speech.

1. Support the friend who was hurt

- Check on them privately: “I saw what happened, are you okay?” - Listen without adding fuel like, “Yes, he’s always like that.” - Gently encourage them towards forgiveness if possible, not revenge.

1. Talk calmly to the rude friend – if it’s safe and appropriate

- In private, not in front of others. - Speak softly: - “What you said to her/him seemed quite hurtful.” - “Maybe next time we can say it in a kinder way?” - Aim is to make them aware, not to punish or shame them.

1. Practice Jain forgiveness in your own mind

- Try not to keep hatred for the rude friend. You can still set boundaries, but without inner enmity. - You may internally recall the forgiveness prayer: - “Khamemi savve jive, savve jiva khamantu me, mitti me savva bhuesu, veram majjha na kenai.” - Meaning: I forgive all beings, may all beings forgive me. I have friendship with all, enmity with none.

1. Set boundaries without anger

- If this friend is repeatedly rude, you can reduce your closeness with them. - Jainism does not say “tolerate abuse forever”; it says avoid hatred and himsa while protecting your peace and dharma.

1. Reflect on your own role

- Ask: “Did I, even slightly, encourage this, laugh at it, or stay silent when I should have spoken gently?” - If you feel you were wrong somewhere, you can apologize to either friend and purify your own conduct (like small daily pratikraman in mind).

If you tell me exactly what happened and what you’ve already done, I can suggest the exact words you could use with each friend, in very simple language.