Your intense curiosity itself is a sign of upsham / kshayopsham of Mohaniya karma – your deluding karma is becoming weaker, so the soul naturally starts asking:

• “Who am I really?”
• “How many bhav are left?”
• “When will I be free from this wandering (samsar)?”

In Jain philosophy:

1. Only a Kevali (kevaljñani) can know exact bhav & exact nirvana-time

- Ordinary beings (like us), even great scholars or sadhus, cannot know: - how many births are left, - in which bhav we’ll get samyak darshan, - which bhav will be our last. - This is all precisely known only by the Omniscient Ones. - So your wish that “if only kevaljñanis were here to tell me” is natural, but in this era we don’t have current Tirthankars or visible Kevalis.

1. Why this intense curiosity is arising

Some possible Jain explanations:

- Purva sanskars (impressions from past lives): You have done some good punya, perhaps listened to satsang, served sadhus, done some swadhyaya or samayik in past bhav. That seed now shows as: - strong attraction to moksha, - dissatisfaction with mere worldly life, - constant thinking about samsar and nirvana.

- Kshayopsham of Darshan Mohaniya: When deluding karma linked to wrong belief weakens, the soul starts seeking: - true path, - true Guru, - true understanding of “self vs non-self”. Curiosity about moksha questions is a symptom of that.

- Anxiety of the jiva caught in endless wandering: Somewhere inside, the soul is tired of: - again and again relationships, loss, birth, death, fear, disease. That tiredness comes out as an urge: - “I want to know when this will end.”

1. From ‘When will I be free?’ to ‘What can I do now?’

Jain shastras gently guide us from curiosity about the future to practice in the present:

- You do not need to know exact number of bhav to progress. - What you truly control is: - your bhavana now, - your ahimsa, satya, aparigraha now, - your samyak darshan efforts now.

A simple way to channel this curiosity:

- Daily, sit quietly and do atmachintan for a few minutes: - “I am a pure soul, separate from mind-body.” - “My real goal is moksha, not only comfort.” - Listen / read authentic Jain scriptures or explanations regularly. - Reduce raaga–dvesha (attachment–aversion) in small day-to-day situations.

This transforms restless curiosity into shant, steady mumukshutva (peaceful, firm desire for liberation).

1. Is this desire itself good or bad?

- If it makes you depressed, impatient, comparing yourself with others – then gently calm it with understanding: - “Every karma has a fixed duration; my only work is to live dharmically.” - If it inspires you to: - do pratikraman, - live more ethically, - stay close to satsang, then it is a very auspicious inner state.

1. Practical small steps you can start right now

You don’t have to do everything; even 1–2 points sincerely are powerful:

- Do daily pratikraman (even a short, heartfelt one). - Take one small anuvrat (e.g., control one anger-trigger, or one food-attachment). - Regularly listen/read about: - Nav tattva, - Samyak darshan, - lives of Tirthankars and great sadhus. - Whenever this question “How many bhav left?” arises, gently shift it to: - “In this very bhav, right now, what is the best dharmic thing I can do?”

Your intense curiosity is not a problem; it is a potential turning point. Handled correctly, it can become the very force that leads you towards samyak darshan and, step by step, to the end of samsar — whenever that destined bhav may be.

If you’d like to read more general concepts of Jainism in simple words, you can explore here: