Answer in detail. What are these feelings? Why should we take diksha. What are the reasons for taking diksha. My case- 10 years back, I had immense desire of taking diksha after reading scriptures, this got erased after a few months. Six months back, I

What you are describing is very much a Jain spiritual feeling. In Jain Dharma, this is generally understood as a form of:

• Vairāgya — detachment from worldly life
• Samvega — deep inner urgency to seek liberation
• Anitya-bhāvanā — contemplation of impermanence
• Saṃsāra-bhāvanā — realization of the endless cycle of birth and death
• Mumukṣutā — the sincere desire to become free from bondage

It is not merely sadness or ordinary emotional shock. It is a spiritual awakening that happens when the soul deeply feels: “Life is temporary, worldly achievements are unstable, and true fulfillment is not in external routine.”

What is this feeling in you?

Based on what you wrote, your feeling can be described as a combination of these inner states:

1. Shock from impermanence

Seeing the death poster of someone you had regularly seen can strongly awaken the truth that:

• every living being is temporary,
• death can come suddenly,
• daily routine does not protect anyone from decay and death.

This is the Jain contemplation of anitya — everything worldly is impermanent.

2. Disenchantment with worldly repetition

When you realized that life often becomes:

• birth,
• education,
• marriage,
• children,
• responsibility,
• money chasing,
• old age,
• death,

you felt the emptiness of this cycle. This is a very classic form of vairāgya.

In Jainism, this is not considered negativity. It is often the beginning of right reflection. The soul starts asking:

• “What is the real purpose?”
• “Is this all?”
• “What can truly be permanent?”

3. Spiritual dispassion

You are not saying you hate life; rather, you are seeing that worldly life alone cannot give lasting peace. That is a sign of true dispassion, which in Jainism is precious.

4. Hidden remembrance of the soul’s goal

Sometimes the soul, through past impressions and spiritual sanskāras, naturally turns inward. Your earlier desire for diksha and then the later awakening may indicate that the thought of renunciation is not foreign to your soul.

---

Why does this happen?

In Jain thought, this kind of inner awakening can arise due to:

1. Karmic maturity

When certain karmas begin to weaken, the soul becomes more sensitive to truth, suffering, transience, and renunciation.

2. Association with scripture and reflection

You said that 10 years ago you felt a strong desire after reading scriptures. That matters greatly. Scriptural study can plant spiritual samskāras that remain dormant and later awaken again.

3. Exposure to death and impermanence

Seeing death in real life often shakes one out of mechanical living. Jain tradition strongly emphasizes reflection on death because it destroys carelessness.

4. Increasing spiritual maturity

At one stage in life, a person seeks fulfillment in external things. At another stage, one begins to see their limits. This inner shift is often the beginning of dharma-vichār — deep spiritual inquiry.

---

What are the reasons for taking diksha?

In Jain Dharma, diksha is not taken because of temporary emotion. It is taken for moksha-mārga — the path of liberation. The real reasons are:

1. To stop the bondage of karma

Every act done with attachment, aversion, pride, deceit, greed, and carelessness binds karma to the soul.

Diksha is the life of:

• renunciation,
• restraint,
• vigilance,
• austerity,
• and non-attachment.

Its purpose is to reduce and ultimately destroy karmic bondage.

2. To live fully in Ahimsa

The monastic life is structured to practice the highest form of ahimsa.

A dikshit life is meant for:

• carefulness in walking, speaking, eating, and thinking,
• limiting harm to all beings,
• protecting subtle life forms through discipline.

3. To control the senses and the mind

The worldly life pulls the soul outward through:

• taste,
• touch,
• sight,
• sound,
• possessions,
• social identity.

Diksha is taken to withdraw from these outward pulls and establish mastery over the self.

4. To practice complete renunciation

In Jain Dharma, liberation requires letting go not only of objects, but also:

• ownership,
• ego,
• social role,
• family attachment,
• status,
• comfort,
• expectation.

Diksha is the formal entry into that inner and outer renunciation.

5. To intensify spiritual practice

A dikshit life allows one to focus on:

• samayik,
• pratikraman,
• swādhyāya,
• tapa,
• dhyāna,
• and constant awareness.

The aim is not ordinary religious life, but liberation-oriented life.

6. To live with the soul as the center

Worldly life makes the body, money, relations, and career the center.

Diksha makes the jīva — the soul — the center.

That shift is the heart of Jain renunciation.

---

But then why did your earlier desire disappear?

This is also very natural.

In Jain understanding, a desire for diksha may arise and then fade because:

1. The feeling may have been temporary vairāgya

Sometimes there is a powerful emotional detachment after reading scripture. It is real, but it may not yet be stable enough to become a lifelong vow.

2. Karmic obstacles still remain

The soul may genuinely incline toward renunciation, but karmic influences can weaken resolve, especially when worldly pull returns.

3. Spiritual desire needs maturity

To take diksha, one must not only feel inspired; one must develop:

• firmness,
• equanimity,
• endurance,
• non-attachment,
• and unwavering commitment.

4. The thought may have been a seed, not yet fruit

A seed can lie dormant for years and then sprout later. Your later realization may be that same seed returning in a deeper form.

So the disappearance of the thought does not mean it was false. It may mean it was not yet ripe.

---

How should Jainism understand your present feeling?

A Jain would likely describe your present feeling as:

Jñānaja vairāgya

Detachment born from understanding.

Not blind rejection of life, but clear seeing of truth.

This is more mature than mere emotional sadness. You are not saying:

• “Life is worthless.”

You are saying:

• “This world is temporary and repetitive; I want to understand its deeper purpose.”

That is a very meaningful spiritual stage.

---

Is this a sign that you should take diksha?

Not automatically.

In Jainism, a genuine impulse toward diksha is sacred, but diksha should be considered only when it is accompanied by stable readiness.

The important question is not only:

• “Do I feel detached?”

But also:

• “Can I live with total discipline?”
• “Can I sustain renunciation without wavering?”
• “Is my mind stable in austerity, simplicity, and non-attachment?”
• “Is my desire for liberation stronger than my desire for comfort?”

So your feeling is spiritually valuable, but it must be examined carefully and patiently.

---

What is the deeper Jain meaning of this realization?

Your realization is essentially this:

1. The world is not permanent

Everything changes.

2. Relationships are not ultimate refuge

They are important, but they are not the final shelter of the soul.

3. Routine without spiritual purpose feels empty

A life centered only on social progression can feel repetitive and unsatisfying.

4. Death reveals truth

Death makes everyone equal and exposes the fragility of worldly plans.

5. The soul seeks something beyond the cycle

That “something” is liberation.

This is exactly why Jain saints and scriptures repeatedly encourage bhāvanā — contemplation of:

• impermanence,
• helplessness,
• loneliness of the soul,
• karma,
• and liberation.

---

In simple words, what would Jainism call this state?

If I put it in the clearest Jain terms, your state is:

• awakening from worldly sleep
• first stage of detachment
• reflection on impermanence
• seed of renunciation
• desire to understand the purpose of life beyond routine

It is a spiritually serious and meaningful state.

---

Important caution

In Jain Dharma, such feelings should be handled with:

• equanimity
• self-observation
• scriptural study
• association with true sadhus/sadhvis
• reflection on vows and discipline

Because sometimes a person feels disgust with worldly life, but true Jain vairāgya is not disgust — it is clarity.

The difference is important:

• disgust pushes one away emotionally,
• vairāgya frees one inwardly with wisdom.

---

Final understanding

So, in your case, I would describe this feeling as:

A spiritually awakened vairāgya arising from anitya-bhāvanā and samvega

meaning:

• awareness of impermanence,
• realization of the repetitive nature of worldly life,
• and a deep inward pull toward a higher purpose.

This is close to the beginning of the thought of diksha, but not yet the final proof of readiness for diksha.

It is a precious inner movement. In Jain terms, it should be honored, studied, and deepened through right reflection, not rushed.

If you want, I can next explain this in a very structured Jain way:

1. what exactly is vairāgya,
2. what exactly is samvega,
3. how to know whether the desire for diksha is genuine or temporary,
4. and what qualities a person must develop before taking diksha.