From a Jain point of view, your first duty is ahimsa: to avoid harm as much as possible, even in difficult situations.

What you can do:

• Stay calm in the moment. Do not fight or create more anger.
• Try gentle prevention, not force. Keep a broom, cup, paper, or jar ready so insects can be moved out safely.
• Explain softly in advance. When there is no emergency, tell your roommate that you are trying to protect life, even small life.
• Create practical habits. Keep doors closed, use screens, clean food crumbs, and reduce insects so there are fewer panic moments.
• Offer an easy alternative. If possible, ask her to call you first when she sees an insect, so you can remove it.
• Protect your own inner state. In Jainism, saving life with peace is better than winning an argument.
• If she still kills in panic, do your best without hatred. The intention to reduce harm is important, and you should continue practicing compassion.

In Jain dharma, the ideal is not only to avoid violence, but also to cultivate karuna, patience, and right conduct. In such a shared living situation, the best approach is gentle persuasion, practical prevention, and non-violent action rather than conflict.

A simple line you can say is: “Please let me remove it safely; I am trying to avoid harming any living being.”

This keeps the Jain spirit intact while also respecting her fear.