Answer

I am sorry you are feeling this way. In Jain Dharma, it is better to be honest about your inner state than to force dharmic activities with a heavy, disturbed mind.

If you are not able to do full Chaturmas, tapasya, vyakhyan, or darshan right now, do not hate yourself for it. Start with the smallest possible good intention.

Explanation

In Jain tradition, bhav matters deeply.

That means:

• If your mind is not strong, do not force big vows.
• If you cannot do much, do a little with sincerity.
• If even a little feels difficult, simply keep a soft remembrance of dharma in your heart.

You can keep things very simple this Chaturmas:

• Chant Namokar Mantra even once a day
• Sit quietly for a few minutes
• Avoid self-criticism
• Take rest without guilt
• Stay connected to one trusted person in your sangh or family
• If possible, listen to a short pravachan only when your mind allows

Spiritual Understanding

Jain Dharma is not meant to become a burden.

The path teaches us:

• Ahimsa toward others
• Ahimsa toward ourselves, too, in the sense of not harming ourselves with harsh guilt and pressure
• Samata — steadiness and acceptance
• Kshama — forgiveness, including toward our own limitations

If your mind is low, even saying, “I am unable right now, but I do not want to turn away from dharma forever,” is a sincere step. That intention has value.

Takeaway

Do not think, “I am bad because I cannot do Chaturmas properly.”

Think instead:

• “Right now I am struggling.”
• “I will keep the smallest connection with dharma.”
• “When my mind becomes lighter, I will धीरे-धीरे return.”

If your depression feels very deep or long-lasting, please also seek support from a trusted family member, doctor, or counselor. Taking care of your mind is also important.