Answer

What you are feeling is not hopelessness — it is jāgruti, inner awakening.

In Jain Dharma, guilt becomes useful only when it turns into:

• Alochana — honest admission of mistake
• Pratikraman — turning back from wrong conduct
• Pratyakhyan — taking a realistic vow for future improvement

You do not need to become perfect overnight. But this Paryushan, you can sincerely begin a new direction.

Explanation

Your main issues are:

• Speaking small lies
• Throwing away your mother’s tiffin food
• Eating too much junk food
• Not learning Pratikraman Sutra despite wanting to
• Social media addiction
• Fear of accepting truth

In Jain Dharma, these are connected to asamyam — lack of self-restraint. But self-restraint grows gradually through small, firm decisions.

A practical Jain approach would be:

• Do not take a huge vow that you may break quickly.
• Take small vows that are realistic and repeatable.
• Do daily inner checking without self-hatred.

Practical Paryushan Sankalp

You can take a simple sankalp like this:

“From today, I will sincerely reduce lies, respect food, avoid wasting my mother’s tiffin, reduce junk food, limit social media, and learn Pratikraman Sutra at least once every week. If I fail, I will not give up; I will do Alochana and restart.”

This is a balanced sankalp — sincere but not extreme.

For Lying

Jain Dharma gives great importance to Satya, truthfulness.

But truth should also be spoken with care, without hurting unnecessarily.

Start with this:

• Before lying, pause for 3 seconds.
• Ask: “Am I lying because of fear?”
• If yes, try to say a softer truth.

Examples:

• Instead of “I finished the food,” say: “I could not finish it today.”
• Instead of making excuses, say: “I made a mistake.”
• Instead of hiding, say: “I was afraid to tell the truth.”

This will slowly remove cowardice. Every truth you speak will make you spiritually stronger.

For Throwing Mother’s Tiffin Food

In Jain Dharma, wasting food is not a small matter. Food involves the effort of many living beings and people. Your mother’s love is also in that food.

Take a strong but practical vow:

• If you cannot eat the full tiffin, ask your mother to pack less.
• If you do not like something, tell her respectfully.
• Do not throw food secretly.
• If food remains, try to bring it back instead of wasting it.

You can say to your mother:

“Mumma, I feel bad that sometimes I waste food. Please pack a little less for me. I want to improve.”

This one honest sentence can reduce both lying and food wastage.

For Junk Food

Do not suddenly say, “I will never eat junk again,” unless you can truly follow it.

Instead, take a gradual vow:

• For this week: reduce junk food by 25%.
• Then keep 1 or 2 fixed days where you avoid junk completely.
• Before eating junk, drink water and wait 5 minutes.
• Do not eat junk secretly with guilt.

Jain Dharma teaches control over taste through ras-tyag and sanyam. Even small control over taste helps control the mind.

For Learning Pratikraman Sutra

Your idea is very good: once a week is realistic.

Do this:

• Fix one day and time every week.
• Start with only 20–30 minutes.
• Learn a small portion properly instead of rushing.
• Repeat the same portion many times.
• If possible, learn from a knowledgeable Jain teacher, elder, or authentic Jain pathshala source.

Do not think, “I started long ago and failed.” Think, “Now I am restarting with maturity.”

For Social Media Addiction

Social media increases restlessness, comparison, laziness, and attachment. In Jain terms, it can strengthen rāg, dvesh, and pramād — carelessness.

Start with practical restraint:

• No social media for the first 30 minutes after waking up.
• No social media during meals.
• No social media 30 minutes before sleeping.
• Keep apps away during your Pratikraman study time.
• Use one fixed time slot instead of checking again and again.

If you cannot stop fully, reduce gradually. Reduction with honesty is better than a dramatic promise followed by collapse.

Spiritual Understanding

In Jain Dharma, the purpose of Paryushan is not just fasting or rituals. It is inner purification.

The real question is:

• Am I becoming more truthful?
• Am I reducing carelessness?
• Am I respecting food?
• Am I becoming less controlled by taste and phone?
• Am I doing sincere Pratikraman?

If yes, then Paryushan is entering your life.

Do not drown in guilt. Guilt without action becomes another burden. But guilt with right effort becomes spiritual progress.

A Simple Daily Practice

Every night, sit quietly for 3 minutes and ask:

• Where did I lie today?
• Did I waste food today?
• Did I misuse time today?
• Did I hurt my mother’s trust?
• What one thing will I improve tomorrow?

Then mentally ask forgiveness and resolve:

“Michchhami Dukkadam. I will try again tomorrow with more awareness.”

Takeaway

You are not a bad person. You are a person whose conscience is waking up.

Start with these four firm vows:

• I will not throw my mother’s food secretly.
• I will reduce lying by speaking small truths bravely.
• I will learn Pratikraman Sutra once a week.
• I will reduce social media with fixed limits.

Walk slowly, but walk honestly. In Jain Dharma, sincere effort toward self-restraint is itself a beautiful beginning.