Answer

It is good that you honestly reflected on this during Paryushan. In Jain Dharma, the main focus is not self-hatred or guilt, but awareness, restraint, repentance, and renewed effort.

If the ejaculation happened involuntarily or without deliberate intention, then it is different from knowingly engaging in sensual activity. But if it happened through intentional sexual thoughts, actions, or stimulation, then it should be accepted sincerely as a lapse in restraint.

Explanation

During Paryushan, Jains try to increase:

• Sanyam — self-control
• Brahmacharya — purity and restraint in sexual conduct
• Pratikraman — repentance and correction of mistakes
• Samayik / Swadhyay — spiritual focus

If you feel you failed in your vow, do not become discouraged. Instead:

• Do alochana internally — honestly admit the mistake.
• Do pratikraman with sincerity.
• Ask for forgiveness in your heart.
• Resolve to be more careful next time.
• Avoid triggers such as lustful content, idle imagination, or isolation that increases temptation.

Spiritual Understanding

Jain Dharma teaches that passions and desires are reduced gradually through awareness and effort. A fall does not mean your whole Paryushan is ruined. What matters now is your sincerity, humility, and determination to continue on the path of restraint.

Do not think, “I failed, so everything is over.” Instead think, “I became aware of my weakness, and now I will strengthen my self-control.”

Takeaway

If it was involuntary, remain peaceful and continue your Paryushan practices. If it was intentional, do sincere pratikraman and renew your vow. Do not stay in guilt; move forward with greater awareness and restraint.