3 months Three months back, I visit a shop regularly opposite which an uncle has his shop, I used tosee him often untill oneday I saw his death poster which shocked me from inside I understood sansaar was all about being born going to school and college,
What arose in you is deep vairāgya (dispassion / detachment) and saṁsār‑anuprekṣā (contemplation on the misery and meaninglessness of worldly cycle).
You saw, very clearly:
- Birth → study → job/business → marriage → children → running after money for decades → death
- And you felt: “I take nothing ahead; what is the real purpose?”
This inner shock and clarity is exactly what Jain Āgamas describe as vairāgya‑bhāva – a turning away from worldly routine towards the path of liberation.
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1. “I thought of taking dīkṣā. This feeling remained for a few days” – what is this?
This is:
- Mokṣa‑icchā – the wish for liberation
- Mixed with vairāgya – seeing the world as temporary and unsatisfying
In Jain tradition, such feelings may come in waves because mohanīya karma (deluding karma) is still active. So sometimes:
- Clarity is strong → you feel like taking dīkṣā
- Then worldly habits, fears, attachments again cover that clarity
This fluctuation is normal for a sādhak (seeker). The important thing is: Don’t ignore these moments – nourish them.
You can read a simple explanation of Samyak Darshan here:
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2. “Am I a bhavya?”
Bhavya jīva = a soul that can ultimately attain mokṣa. Abhavya jīva = a soul that will never attain mokṣa.
Jain Siddhānta clearly says:
- Only a Kevalī Bhagwān can truly know who is bhavya or abhavya.
- We, as ordinary beings, must always assume ourselves to be bhavya and live accordingly.
But practically, the fact that:
- You felt deep vairāgya
- You thought seriously of dīkṣā
- You are reflecting on samyak‑darshan
…all these are very strong signs of bhavyatva. An abhavya jīva does not genuinely turn his mind like this towards mokṣa.
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3. “Am I samyag‑dṛṣṭi (having Samyak Darshan)?”
In simple Jain terms:
- Samyak Darshan = firm, doubt‑free Right Faith in:
- It arises only when darshan‑mohanīya karma is subdued or destroyed.
What you experienced is definitely:
- A strong step towards Samyak Darshan
- A powerful saṁveg / vairāgya (spiritual urgency + dispassion)
But from your description alone, we cannot say with certainty that full samyak‑darshan has arisen, because that depends on:
- Whether wrong beliefs have really fallen away from the root
- Whether faith in Jain tattvas has become unshakeable, not just emotional for some days
So, honestly:
- You may be approaching samyak‑darshan
- You have very precious, rare feelings that must be protected
- Whether it is full samyak‑darshan can only be truly known from inner stability and, ultimately, from the perspective of a Kevalī.
You can see a concise explanation of Samyak Darshan here:
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4. What should you do now?
To nourish this inner awakening:
- Satsang & Śāstra‑svādhyāy
- Listen regularly to authentic Jain discourses (according to your tradition – Digambar or Shwetambar). - Read simple texts on tattvas, karma, samyak‑darshan, and the 12 anuprekṣās (especially anitya, aśaraṇa, saṁsāra).
- Daily sādhana (at your level)
- Do Namokār Mantra daily with understanding. - Try samayik (even short, but sincere) – sit calmly, think of the soul as separate from body, relations, possessions.
- Strengthen vairāgya, not depression
- Jain vairāgya is clear seeing and calm detachment, not sadness or self‑hate. - Remember: your insight about the “meaninglessness” of running blindly after money is a gift, not a weakness.
- Gradual renunciation, not hurried guilt
- If dīkṣā is truly your path, it will become clearer and stronger with time, guidance from a true Guru, and repeated reflection. - Till then, as a śrāvaka/śrāvikā, follow small vows, reduce anger–pride–deceit–greed, and live more simply.
More on how Samyak Darshan arises in practice:
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5. In one line
- The feeling you experienced is true Jain vairāgya and saṁveg.
- It is a very strong sign of bhavyatva.
- Whether you are already samyag‑dṛṣṭi cannot be stated just from this event, but you are clearly moving in that direction; protect this bhāva and deepen it with right guidance and practice.